Things to do instead of having sex.

I read today that only 1 in 4 of 2012's high school freshman class will still be vigrins. ONE IN FOUR? Thats means 75% of America's 13 year olds have had sex. What?! That's ridiculous. Yeah, I believe that sex should be saved until marriage, but even people who don't agree with that must not condone to preteen sex. That's just gross. And I'm sorry, but my parents would beat my little white butt if I even thought about doing this now, let alone at 12!
I also read in an unrelated article that men's brains crave more sex when the economy down, to soothe their worries. But middle schoolers are not men! Why are they doing it more? Stress from work? Nope! Maybe they didn't make their bed, didn't get their allowance from Momma and couldn't buy pay for their xbox livewire? IDK. But this is absurd.
I came to the conlusion that maybe their just bored. So they decide to have gross underage undeveloped preteen sex? Ew.
Anyway, to help stop these kids from abusing their bodies this way, I compiled a list of things they can do instead.
-Read a bible for goodness sake!
-Buy a kitten.
-Play with kitten.
-^ Repeat, with puppy.
-Color. You're not too cool to color.
-Learn and play an instrument.
-Read any book, really.
-Walk around your neigborhood.
-Walk around your neighborhood in a gorilla suit.
-Go ouside.
-Ride your bike.
-Make stuffed shells.
-Weightlift (Which releases endorphins in your brain to ease your horny selves, js)
-Make a bracelet out of buttons.
-Build a rocketship out of cardboard.
-Dress up like an eyeball with two other friends, and play human bumper cars on the downtown square.
-Do math homework.
-Take dance classes (So you can actually dance, not grind, which is probably what started this whole nasty trend anyway.)
-Sing.
-Go to a play.
-Be in a play.
-Raise a farm animal.
-Play ninja by yourself in the middle of Walmart. (Even if you dot enjoy it, noone will lay you after that.)
-Build a blanket fort and don't invite anyone of the opposite sex inside.
-Wash your Mom's car. Because you don't have one. Cause you're 12.
-Plant flowers.
-Window shop.
-Make a scrapbook.
-Play any sport. Even chess.
-Walk the puppy you bought.
-Organize your school bag.
-Clean your room.
-Clean your closet, where you threw everything when you cleaned your room.
-Race ferrets.
-Rake carpet.
-Braid a cow's tail.
-Take your couch for a walk.
-Kidnap cabbage patch kids.
-Look up cabbage patch kids, because they were probably made before you were born. Cause you're 12.
-Pretend your a telephone.
-Answer the phone.
-Watch the news.
-Watch the first half of Supernanny, but not the second. You'll never have sex again.
-Debate politics.
-Learn about politics, since you prob don't know much.
-Call a infomercial number and speak Greek.
-Write a letter to your hero, telling them why they are.
-Write a letter to someone you hate, telling them why someone else is your hero.
-Make a turtle.
-Wash a cat.
-Test diamonds on your neighbors car window.
-Find an alibi for the above.
-Correct words that aren't typos on your friends facebook.
-Train your goldfish.
-Have a prune juice chugging contest.
-Puke prune juice.
-Teach your puppy to skateboard.
-Joust. Stupid pain builds character.
-Lay on the floor of Kmart.
-Walk in front of someone, and just sit down.
-Write a blog on how to stop kids from having sex.